


You'll Always Be First

by crazyinfj



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Kinda dark Steve, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Steve Friendly, Not Wanda Friendly, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Stony but for like political reasons, Unrequited Love, anti stony, but they all get a happy ending because im not evil, team cap is not bad, they just have a lot of prejudice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25204525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyinfj/pseuds/crazyinfj
Summary: Bucky hates that Steve and Tony are forced into a fake relationship....he could do better.With that new mission, Bucky spends his days making sure everyone knows it, and ends up deeper than he anticipated.
Relationships: Background Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa, James "Bucky" Barnes & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 234





	You'll Always Be First

Bucky understood. The reasoning made sense. Steve and Tony were the faces of the Avengers. If anyone was supposed to fake a relationship for the sake of politics and peace, Steve and Tony would be the smartest pairing. So why did it hurt so much?

“It’s wrong.” Bucky heard the man beside him, Rhodey, mumble. 

Bucky had always had an amount of respect for Rhodey, a man who had spent his last year relearning how to walk and dealing with the rogues. And someone, he took it all with a grace that Steve had yet to master, despite his seventy years of rest. He knew Rhodey disliked Steve, and rightfully so, after all, the man had all but killed Rhodey’s best friend in enemy territory. But even knowing this, he was surprised to hear the man comment. 

“What’s that mean?” Bucky couldn’t help but ask. 

“Steve’s already messed up his life enough. I’m not going to sit silently as the council does the same.”

“It’s supposed to bring peace you know.” Bucky whispered, as he watched the meeting play out. Natasha gave him a warning glare to be quiet. Bucky ignored her, she wasn’t hitting him yet, so Bucky knew he was safe-for now. 

“Tony’s already sacrificed enough.” Rhodey’s voice was hard and his gaze fixed on Steve Rogers with deadly intent. After a moment , Rhodey’s face relaxed and he turned to Bucky, his voice back to his cordial tone. “I just, I wanna see Tones happy. He doesn’t get a lot of that. And this year’s been shitty.”

“You’re not wrong about that.” Bucky agreed. It had been eight months since Accords, and four months since the Rogues, plus Bucky, returned to the US. Since then, the relationship between the world and the Avengers had been one on thin ice. That’s where the idea of Steve and Tony faking a relationship came from. The council was hoping that would smooth out the reputation of the Avengers. Nobody within the Avengers was convinced. 

“I would like to object to this plan, council member.” Sam Wilson’s unimpressed voice filled the room, and Bucky turned his head to the pilot, but couldn’t see his face due to the tiered setting arrangement they were forced to sit in. 

“And why, Mr. Wilson, do you object?” The supervisor of the meeting asked, one who claimed to be neutral in the entire Civil War debacle. They all knew he was for the Accords, but he was better than Ross, who had long since been rid of, so they tolerated him with careful scrutiny. 

“While I see why this pairing would sway the minds of the general public, whose education towards the Accords is lacking, I don’t believe this is the way to follow through.” Sam diplomatically reasoned. “It was general knowledge that we fought, and that essentially, there were two sides, one led by Tony, and the other by Steve. Instead of trying to mix oil and water, we should attempt to create a pairing with a little more compatibility, at least in the public’s eyes. After all, this is for the public, right?” 

He did have a point, Bucky thought and Natasha then spoke up. 

“Counsel members, if I might, I have a suggestion.”

“Proceed Romanoff.”

“Since I am well known for being a support for both sides, I suggest that if any relationship is made public, it would be Natasha and Tony Stark.”

“I’m afraid, given your history, that would sway the public into thinking that Tony is being manipulated and it would bring up the rather obvious question, which to this day has never been answered, why did you switch sides to begin with?”

Natasha stayed silent, her eyes saying everything she needed to communicate. Death. One step closer and they had crossed a line. 

“I’m not comfortable with the idea of Steve and Tony together.” Wanda interrupted. She had gotten better since her first meeting, where she was put into her place and told if she stepped out of line there would be swift retribution. Over the course of three months, she had learned enough to be polite, but she always made sure her tone was scathing. 

“I understand why you might feel this way Miss Maximoff, but with no other options, we feel this is in the best interest of the team.”

“Sir, if I may?” Vision asked, standing up. The council was still wary about him, as he wasn’t fully human, but they didn’t voice it. And after the return of the rogues, it was good to have a team member who respected them and calmed the waters. 

“Proceed.”

“I mean to inquire on how these two parties, Steve and Tony, feel about faking a relationship.”

A strangled sound came from Steve, and the heads of the council turned to the captain. Even though the beard hid his face, the council could tell he was sweating and was uncomfortable. 

“Tony and I are,” Steve looked thoughtful Tony’s way. “We have come to conclusions that both of us were wrong in some ways and we have moved past in order to create a working relationship. However, I’m not sure if this is the best interest, as I’m with Bucky working on getting rid of the conditioning in his mind. And Tony has made it clear that he will not get involved in this process.”

“We understand you are working closely with Barnes. However, Tony has made us aware that he does indeed care about Barnes during this delicate process, as both his BARF technology and the making of a new biotech arm is in his careful observation. As for the feelings between Barnes and Stark, we have no control over and do not wish to. Please be aware Rogers, that this means you are potentially giving up the chance of ever being seen in a positive light.” 

Bucky’s eyes grew wide during the speech, and he risked a look over at the engineer, who was trying to hide his face. Was it true? As far as Bucky had known, Tony was simply trying to move past last year, welcoming the ex-avengers, with Bucky in tow. He had been neck deep in plans for the future of the Avengers, mentoring Peter, and running a Fortune 500 company. And on top of all that, he was helping Bucky with his recovery? He didn’t deserve that. Especially not with their history. 

“Any words to add Stark?”

The eyes turned to Tony, who easily made his face relaxed and grinned. But he was wearing his signature sunglasses, and the soldier in Bucky’s head immediately told him that it was a mask. 

“That was supposed to be our little secret.” Tony diverted easily, and the council member shrugged. “Anyways, if this is what we need to do, I’ll do it. It’s for the people right? I just gotta warn my PR team so they don’t get bombarded. I mean, in public right? Just hold hands, laugh, a few jokes, and then we don’t have to talk to each other at all.” 

“Thank you for your allegiance Stark. And before you two begin holding hands and such, we will begin with small public gestures. After a while, it would be best to announce your relationship and come up with a story of forgiveness and reconciliation. Along with that, it would be best if you and Barnes are seen in public together, considering Rogers and Barnes are best friends, and Barnes approval is necessary for this to be completely believed.” 

“I would like to object to this.” Rhodey’s firm, militant voice ran out and the members all stared at him. “Tony has already welcomed them into his home, made sure the public does not terrorize them every time they walk out the door. I don’t believe one member should hold all that responsibility. Doesn’t that seem like we are reverting back to our old ways where Tony is the team provider of everything?”

The council slowly looked at each other and gave the others affirmative nods. 

“As leader of the Avengers we respect your opinion on this, however, we feel that your interpersonal relationship with Stark has clouded your objection. Because of this, we overrule and ignore that objection. This plan is a go, Stark and Rogers, you understand how this works?”

“Yes sir.”

“Yep.”

The moment they were dismissed, Rhodey stalked out of the room, eyes blazing and his mouth in a small line. Everyone looked at Tony, who sighed. “I’ll go talk to him. Rogers, Romanoff, please inform the Avengers PR about this plan.” 

Then Tony ran off to talk to Rhodes, while Bucky stood there not knowing what to do. He felt partially responsible for this. If he hadn’t shown up in the first place, the bad blood between Tony and Steve would’ve never boiled to this point.

—

When the lab doors opened without a word, Bucky was taken aback. He thought it would be harder to access the lab. Usually, Tony had it all but shut down for visitors, especially after a council meeting. 

“Sir, Sergeant Barnes is entering.” Friday warned Tony, probably to prepare the both of them, but Bucky knew that he was the one who needed to prepare. He needed to apologize. 

“Hey Bucky. What brings you down to the mad lab?” Tony was still working on something, it looked like a new phone, but Bucky couldn’t be sure. 

“I, uh,” Bucky paused, rubbing his metal arm out of habit. “Wanted to apologize.”

That got Tony’s attention, and the small man swiveled around in his chair. For a genius, he looked quite confused. “What?” 

Bucky’s head went blank. Everything he was gonna say disappeared. His script was gone. He just should’ve waited. He really hated his impulsive side right now. The soldier snickered in his head, mocking him. 

“What do you mean what? I’ve ruined your life!” Okay, maybe that was a tad on the dramatic side, but Bucky had to get his point across. 

“Really Bucky, all you did was bring tension to the surface that’s been there since I met Steve.” 

“So you’re not mad at me?” Bucky asked, his eyes wide and his face, despite the usual spy manner he was proud to claim, probably looked like a deer in the headlights. 

“No, none of this is your fault.” Tony shrugged and gave Bucky a heartfelt grin. “I mean, I did get mad at you in that bunker. I really am sorry about that. I should’ve never taken it out on you like that. I’ve been going to a therapist dude and he’s been helping me. So if I accept your absolutely unnecessary apology, you must accept my actual needed apology.”

“You just watched your parents die on video. I would've done the same thing.” 

“That doesn’t make it right.” 

“I guess not, but I mean, I never held that against you. I mean, you took us all back and now you’re basically forced to have a relationship with Stevie.” 

“Schematics. It won’t be a big deal. I can flirt like you wouldn’t believe slushie. And it’s not like we have to talk to each other really.” 

“That sounds terrible.”

Tony shrugged, and motioned for Bucky to sit. So Bucky just sat on Tony’s work desk, close enough that he could see the new model of tablets SI was planning on releasing. 

“It’s a fake relationship. We give the press what the press wants, and the Avengers will be good as new. After a while, we break up saying that we had different motivations and dreams, and still are the best of friends and we ride happily into the sunset.” 

“Doesn’t sound too happy to me. I mean, Steve keeps saying I was a charmer back in the day, but I don’t remember a thing. But I think I remember that a relationship is supposed to be real. The only fake relationships were the stupid teens in high school who just liked the thought of dating.”

“We’re adults though. So it doesn’t matter, because it’s just for show.”

“Just for show? Really? Is you building me a new arm just for show?” Bucky hummed, and Tony’s face jerked up. 

“What? No!” Tony closed his plans and opened a hologram to show a beautiful metal arm, the side notes showing the vibranium medium and scribbles about fitting complications. “I made this as an apology gift. Technically I can’t take all the credit. Princess Shuri and I worked together. And Helen Cho, a doctor friend, helped with the medical part. I just kinda, gave a few pointers.”

“This doesn’t look like a few pointers.” Bucky said, surprising himself by reaching and spinning the hologram to get a full view of the 3D arm.

“Trust me, Shuri did most of the work. Well, when she wasn’t quoting memes with Peter. I should’ve never let them meet. I’m pretty sure they’re going to somehow summon the apocalypse by quoting memes. All I’m here for Freezie is to attach the arm. Unless, of course, you wanna go to Wakanda to do that. Totally your choice.” 

How they got on the topic of Bucky’s arm, the one that had killed Tony’s parents specifically, when Bucky was supposed to be apologizing confused the heck out of him, but an hour later and Tony was examining the current metal arm and bitching about the lack of quality Hydra had taken to making the arm. 

An hour later, Bucky couldn’t help but get lost watching Tony tinker with his arm, and focused on the man’s features too much for his comfort. What the hell was up with him? 

When Bucky finally left, at almost eleven at night, he had successfully made amends with Tony, had an improvement done to his current arm, at least, until his new arm could be manufactured, and had persuaded the genius to go to bed. 

—

The next morning, everyone was milling around the common rooms when Tony came out of his bedroom. To say the residents were surprised was an understatement. The only one not looking shocked was Natasha, who only looked up in wonder and continued to eat her waffles. 

“Did you go to bed?” Steve asked, his tone clearly impressed, but suspicious nonetheless. 

“Got a full eight hours Cap. Now move. Coffee first. Questions later.” 

Once he had downed his first cup of coffee, Tony was pouring another and then looked up at Bucky, expectantly. 

“Hey Bucky Bear, how's the arm feeling?”

“No chafing last night.” Bucky gave a thumbs up and showed Tony his shoulder. Any other time it would’ve been weird, but Bucky had a tank top on from sleeping, so the skin was visible to everyone. 

“You still have some red there. I got cream, down in the lab. Helped with my arc reactor. Not sure how it would work with your serum, but might be helpful. If it hurts.”

The room was looking at them, and Bucky swore that the walls themselves had eyes popping out of the sockets. But Bucky didn’t care and smiled. “Wouldn’t hurt to try, right doll?”

Tony blushed before he downed another gulp of coffee, probably to hide his face more than anything. “Of course not. Come down anytime.” 

With that, Tony left the room, and headed back to his bedroom, grumbling about meetings and what not. Rhodey rushed to follow behind, holding a bagel for Tony to eat, while reminding him of the meeting he had with the Air Force. 

Bucky smiled before turning around. All the eyes were on him and Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

Clint honest to god snorted. “Is something wrong? You just called Tony doll. When did that happen?”

“Last night.” Bucky realized how bad it sounded the moment it shot out of his mouth and he wanted to take it back. 

Wanda sputtered, barely knowing what to say. “You slept with Stark?” Her voice held all kinds of disapproval and Bucky really wanted to knock her down a few pegs. 

Instead, he just rolled his eyes and ignored the previous remark. “I went down to his lab and we talked. Like fucking adults. We said sorry and he loosened up my arm plates so they wouldn’t chafe as much. You happy?” 

“Why would you say you’re sorry? Bucky, you did nothing wrong.” Steve interjected, and Bucky wanted to roll his eyes to New Guinea. How stupid were these people sometimes? 

“I killed his parents. Kinda something to apologize for.”

“That wasn’t you though!”

“Still my arm.” Bucky pointed out, grabbing an apple and sat carelessly on the kitchen bar. 

“Aren’t you glad Stevie? Tony and I made up. It looks like you and Tony got my blessing.” 

Steve just shrugged. “It’s a fake relationship Buck. I just gotta smile a little bit and sling an arm around his shoulder. I do that to people you haven’t given your blessing to.”

“Like who?” Bucky challenged. 

“Sam.” Steve answered back, and Bucky nodded. 

“I would’ve never approved of Sam.”

“I do what I want.” Steve replied, and Bucky groaned. 

“That’s what gets you in trouble punk.” 

—

It had happened again. This time it had been late at night, when the voices in Bucky’s head were too loud to stay in his silent room. Bucky usually spent those nights wandering around the Compound, checking all the doors and secret systems. Tonight however he found himself sitting outside the doors of Tony’s lab. 

He couldn’t hear anything or see anything, but something about knowing someone was in there, specifically Tony, calmed down Bucky to the point where he was able to think of other things over the screams of victims in his mind. 

Before he knew it, he was daydreaming about what life would be like if he was the one in a relationship with Tony. He wouldn’t ignore him, that was a given. Maybe they could even talk shop, and fix Bucky’s bike up from all the wear and tear it got (Bucky’s fault he completely ruined the breakers when he went into Winter mode.) He’d do it differently. He’d take care of Tony because Tony always took care of him. 

He had it bad didn’t he? He had only been in the country for four months, and had only started to talk with Tony for two. Most of the time it was chatter, to fill a room. Sometimes it was Tony flirting on autopilot. Many times it was over Bucky’s love of baking. Even so, he and Tony hadn’t actually had a memorable, important conversation since last night, so it was stupid for him to be so attached already. 

Love. A voice in the back of his head that Bucky identified as Winter, seemed to whisper. Love. Tony embodied love. That’s what drew both Bucky and the soldier to the man. Sure he was valiant in his armor, unarguably smart, caring and funny, but Tony was loving. He was loyal. And for the longest time, Bucky never had that. Was it wrong to want it? 

Lost in his thoughts, Bucky didn’t even realize he heard the shattering of glass until a string of curses ensued. Without hesitation, Bucky slipped into the lab, yet again allowed in without protest from Friday. This time however, she didn’t announce his presence and Bucky didn’t think to say anything. 

He was too shocked at the sight he was seeing. Here was Tony, the cool, sauve, Ironman, with tears running down his face chucking empty liquor bottles at a poster that looked eerily similar to Steve. Every inch of the man was shaking and Bucky glanced at the bottle. It hadn’t actually hit the Steve poster. It had hit the wall behind, and even though it could be called off as drunk Tony missing the poster altogether, Bucky couldn’t help but feel that wasn’t the reason. Tony didn’t want to actually hurt Steve, even if it was just a poster of the good captain. 

Suddenly, Tony turned to face the poster. He turned so quickly Bucky wasn’t sure if he was actually drunk. 

“I’m sorry I put you in the mess. Never meant to hurt you again. But it hurts. Knowing I’ll always be second to Bucky. I’m never first.” Then Tony collapsed onto his run down couch in the corner, utterly exhausted from the looks of it. Bucky had seen enough, and silently slipped out. Sleep was not coming to him tonight. 

—

This was the Avengers first appearance in public since the council meeting. And today, Tony was supposed to look head over heels with Steve, because all the people involved had agreed that Tony would definitely fall for Steve first. That is, everyone but Rhodey, who was firmly against the entire plan. 

It was a simple charity gala, nothing special or out of the ordinary, but for a while afterwards, the Avengers media team guessed that news would be swirling. 

When they got out of the car, they as in Bucky, Tony, and Steve, the latter pair with their arms slung around each other, the reporters had the time of their lives taking photos and creating stories which would surely be on gossip magazines all over the US by the end of the night.

“I’m gonna get a drink. You want something?” Tony turned to Steve and Bucky could already sense the tension between them. 

“Tony this is a charity event. No drinking. And you know I don’t drink.” 

“But I’m buying the drinks. It’s even more money to charity.” Tony fought as he continued to grin and nod at the crowds. Once they got into the building, he headed towards the counters. “Your loss Cap.”

“He is going to be the death of me.” 

“Well, you were almost the death of him so I think you’ll be even.” Bucky drily remarked before heading to find Natasha. 

—

“They look good together.” Natasha commented, two hours into the gala to Clint and Bucky. 

“Yeah. About as good as vanilla ice cream and soy sauce.” Clint downed another shot and shook his head. “Look, I don’t always like Tony, he gets on my nerves, but he doesn’t deserve this.”

“First thing you’ve said all night that I agree with.” Rhodey’s voice joined the conversation, and they turned to the colonel, who was dressed in his military uniform. 

“Don’t go thinking we like Stark and all. We just don’t like Stark and Steve together.” Wanda assured Rhodey, who shrugged. 

“Your loss.” 

Bucky couldn’t help but watch Rhodey, who was staring at Steve like he could burn the man with just his eyes. Rhodey then shook himself out of his trance and turned to the counter, ordering a scotch. 

“Want one?”

Bucky nodded and Rhodey slid the glass over to him. While the liquor burned their throats, they said nothing, and then Rhodey spoke. 

“I know you apologized to Tony. He told me. Please.” Rhodey’s voice sounded so dejected, like he didn’t even have faith anymore. “Don’t be another super soldier that hurts him.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

“That’s the thing. Everyone promises. But then they drop him. And he falls and gets bruises. And I don’t wanna have to pick him up again. It hurts.” 

Bucky nodded, scanning the room instead of looking directly at the colonel next to him. He could tell that Rhodey wasn’t complaining about picking him up, but rather, it hurt the both of them when Rhodey had to watch Tony go through the infamous self destruction of Tony Stark. Bucky knew what that was like. To continually pull your best friend out of the way. To give everyone the shovel talk to make sure they didn’t hurt your brother. Somehow, he felt he could relate even though he couldn’t remember those days like Steve so badly wanted him to. 

“Look, I’m not gonna be here this next week. I gotta fly out for a mission. I’m trusting you to make sure Steve and Tony don’t start throwing insults.” Rhodey then looked Bucky in the eyes. “Not trying to hand off the responsibility, just I know you care about them both and I can’t ask anyone else. They wouldn’t care about Tony’s feelings.” 

“I know.”

—

That next week consisted of Steve continually trying to get into the workshop, to make the reclusive genius eat. 

“The tabloids are noticing your weight loss Tony. It’s gonna look bad if you’re in a relationship and losing weight.”

“Fuck off.” Tony had yelled through the comms, and Steve had left, with the food, mumbling about the frustrations of Tony Stark. 

“We're supposed to act like we love each other but the man can’t even bother to open the door for me?” Steve complained to Bucky, who sighed. 

“You said it yourself that this is a fake relationship. It’s for the public. Nobody cares about what you and Tony do when you’re at home.”

“The fangirls do.” Clint sang, coming into the kitchen and grabbing a yogurt. “There’s already fanfics. And like, the explicit stuff. Your eyes would burn grampa.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow and Bucky felt the need to slap Clint in the back of the head. “What, you follow them?”

“Just wanted to see how the tabloids feel. Council’s right, as much as it pains me to say.” Clint licked his spoon. “They love you two.”

“This better work.” Steve muttered, before he checked his watch and freaked out. “Shit! I have a meeting at SHIELD!”

“Language!”

—

“Hey Tony,” Bucky was once again surprised to see that Friday let him into the lab, but didn’t comment on it. “You mentioned the cream-“

“Bucky Bear! So you return! Cream! Yes! Right here! Something wrong?” Tony actually closed his project before he spun around and rolled over to Bucky, not even letting the soldier walk over. 

“Just a little uncomfortable.” Bucky smiled, and Tony grinned. 

“Do you come bearing gifts?”

“Yep, a chicken sandwich.”

“I love you Bucky. Absolutely love you.” 

Even though Bucky knew those words were just Tony Stark being who he was, a talker, and over exaggerating his emotions to guard himself from his actual emotions, Bucky couldn’t help but feel a flutter in his stomach when Tony said, “I love you.”

Tony glanced questioningly as he scooped some cream into his hand. “You okay if I do this or would you like to?”

“You can do it. It’s fine.”

Bucky sat silently as Tony rubbed cream into his upper arm, making sure to be gentle and massage it completely in. The cream was surprisingly warm, and Tony jabbered the entire time about Bucky’s arm. 

“I’m glad you came down Bucky because the final touches are almost ready. Shuri’s sending me the supplies. You don’t have to think about this now, no rush, but if you want to have it done in Wakanda I should alert Shuri.”

“Uh,” Bucky only thought for a split second before he shook his head. “I’d rather you do it.”

Tony actually looked surprised and stopped rubbing for a moment. “Wait, really?”

“I trust Shuri and all, she’s the smartest girl I’ve ever known, but you had a metal hole in your chest. You know how to fuse metal and skin.”

“Gross. I don’t fuse metal and skin. I simply make them co-live.” 

“Exactly.”

“Okay then Slushie. But Helen Cho will be helping me. She knows a lot more than I do about the nervous system.” Bucky hummed curiosity and Tony nodded. “She made the body for Vision.”

“You serious?”

“Yeah. Trust me, she knows a lot more than I do.” 

Bucky wondered, when Tony was all done rubbing,when Bucky could actually think straight, why people called Tony egotistical and unable to accept that he didn’t know everything. Here he was working with two of the greatest minds on the planet, women no less, and he was praising them for their abilities. There was no condemnation and Tony actually seemed very excited to create with them. Not to mention that Bruce and Tony worked together as an unlikely pair. The more Bucky thought about it, the more he was convinced that Tony was indeed, a very good actor. Able to spin people’s perceptions of him without effort on his part. He just let the people’s own prejudice cloud their interpretation of him. 

After sitting silently for a few minutes observing the bot that was helping Tony, Bucky stood up and left. He needed to think about what he just saw. What had Tony done that made his life so unfair? Why did he get the short end of the stick every day? 

Without thinking, Bucky walked directly out of the compound and started heading somewhere. Anywhere. He wasn’t really sure why, but he knew the voices in his head were too loud and he needed them to be silenced. He needed answers.

Grabbing his phone he scrolled his contacts list to Pepper Potts. It was built into the Avengers phones in case they got into a sticky situation and Natasha wasn’t available. Bucky had never used it, but now he was. He wondered what he was gonna say. 

_Hey I have a crush on your best friend and every time I see him I just about die knowing he’s in pain because he’s trying to save the world._

_Hey I’ve never met you but I need your advice. I like your best friend but he’s fake dating my best friend. Any advice?_

In three rings, Pepper picked up. “Pepper Potts.”

“Uh, hey, this is Bucky. Yeah, Bucky Barnes. I uh, it’s about Tony. I’d call Rhodes but-“ 

“No it’s okay.” Pepper reassured him, her voice sounding all like Tony had described, ordering but somehow so gentle and sweet. “Where are you? I’ll meet you.”

“Actually, I’m right in front of the tower.” 

“Stark Tower?” 

“That’s the one.” 

“Okay come up. I’ll tell Happy you’re coming.” 

—

Bucky was escorted by a man who apparently was Happy, but his name was misleading. The man was gruff, but Bucky couldn’t help but like him. He liked someone who wasn’t always sunshine. Too many people were too enthusiastic about life. 

Once he was shuffled and got in the room, the door closed and Bucky found himself in an overly large office, a desk on the center wall. A strawberry blonde lady, with intelligent eyes, and a soft smile greeted him. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Bucky.”

“Thanks for seeing me.” Bucky was secretly glad Pepper hadn't held her hand out. He wasn’t good at human contact yet. 

“Well, it seemed urgent. Now tell me, what’s wrong?”

“So you’re like, Tony’s most fierce protector, right?” Bucky asked Pepper, and she nodded. 

“I was.”

Bucky looked slightly surprised at the honesty of her answer, but didn’t pry for further knowledge, even though he was the one who had set up this meeting. 

“What do you wanna know James?” Pepper asked, her gaze icy cold and Bucky didn’t even hesitate. 

“How deeply Tony’s gonna get hurt before you pull him out of the relationship with Steve.”

Pepper was truly taken aback by Bucky’s most serious of questions, and she barely had the composure to answer him without giving away the fact that she herself asked that same question on an hourly basis. 

“I look out for Tony because I love him. Even though we didn’t work out romantically, I’m always going to be there for him. But even I cannot stop him from tearing his heart out to sacrifice for others.” 

“But-“ Bucky looked confused for a moment before he continued, “You’re the only person I’ve ever seen him respect. He takes off his masks in front of you. Doesn’t he trust you?”

Pepper sighed, and with resignation, proceeded to tell Bucky something she had never once voiced out loud. “I don’t know a single person who hasn’t hurt Tony. Okay, maybe Peter, but that boy couldn’t hurt someone if he tried. What I’m saying is, even though Tony trusts me, I’ve hurt him. I reacted terribly to his obsessions since he became Ironman. And that’s something I must live with.”

“The only person who Tony trusts one hundred, completely, even though he too has made mistakes, ones that I have heard him confess too many times, is Rhodey.”

“Rhodey?” Bucky was clearly not ready for that answer. “But he...he dated you. He gave you the company. I mean, he loves Rhodey, but-“

“He dated me, yes, but Rhodey’s been by Tony’s side since college. Rhodey was Tony’s first human friend that didn’t use him. Rhodey was there before the Stark Mask was formed. Rhodey’s been by his side forever. You and Steve might be til the end of the line, but Tony and Rhodey...” Pepper looked like she was choosing her words carefully. “They didn’t need to remind each other of that. They just are.”

“So you’re saying I should ask Rhodey?”

“You can. But Bucky?” Pepper stopped Bucky before he exited her office. “Rhodey still feels guilt about not protecting Tony in that bunker. He’s a feral animal when it comes to Tony’s safety. He’s always been. Tony’s the same about him. Tread lightly.”

“Of course ma’am.” Bucky gave a court nod before he opened the door. 

“Call me Pepper.”

—

The next few days were no better. Especially when a mission called them to assemble. Steve, having still been upset that Tony had locked him out of his lab, didn’t actually order Ironman around as much as he yelled into the comms unintelligibly and yelled more when Tony didn’t respond and all but screeched when Tony flipped off him mid battle. 

Which led them here. Steve came off the jet seething, and nobody commented as he slammed every door in his way and locked off his own door in the process. Natasha and Clint went into the gym, each ranting about their multiple wounds. Wanda headed to the store to do what Vision called “stress shopping,” which was where she bought completely unnecessary things in hopes that they would distract her from the turmoil in her mind. Sam went on a voluntary run. Peter, who had been called last minute, had to swing home to do homework. This time the excuse was legit. 

So, because Rhodey wasn’t here, that left Bucky in the main room and Tony hidden away in his lab. The man hadn’t even even flown back with them, and Bucky hadn’t seen the man’s face since the mission started and Ironman flipped his face plate down. Bucky ran a hand over his face. Well, if Steve wouldn’t seek out his boyfriend, Bucky would have to check on the guy. 

Bucky didn’t comment when that thought made him all too giddy, and instead walked over to the elevator, and Friday conveniently directed him to the lab without saying a word. 

“Hey Tony?”

A strangled noise came from the other end of the workshop, and then a curse. 

“Friday! I told you not to let anyone in!”

“But sir, I was only doing my job.” Friday managed to sound apologetic, and Bucky was amazed that he could see the nonexistent face Friday mocking him. 

“Friday, I will donate you Hammer Industries if you don’t stop.”

“Would you really give such advanced AI to Justin?” Friday asked, in a teasing manner Tony grunted and waved a hand, instead of answering, turned to Bucky. 

“Hey Buckaroo. What’s up? Is the arm bothering you?”

Bucky shook his head and headed to the other side of the workshop. “Came to check on you darling.” 

“Oh really? Steve’s okay with you calling me pet names?” Tony’s eyes glimmered, and Bucky gave a mischievous grin. 

“Never really asked him. Don’t really care.”

Tony didn’t say anything for a moment and then bit his lip. Bucky wished he hadn’t, it got him focused on Tony’s lips and damn if that wasn’t distracting. 

“You sure do know how to charm a guy.” Tony deadpanned, and then turned to take off a bit of armor that had gotten attached to his undershirt. “I’m perfectly fine Munchkin. How’s Steve? Cooled off yet?” 

“Perfectly fine huh? Why are you holding your arm then?”

“My arm is fine Bucky.” Tony sighed, and Bucky shook his head. 

“Let me see. It’s probably never healed right when we-“ Bucky corrected himself. “From last year’s fight.”

“I got some of the best docs around Bucky. My arm is fine.” 

Bucky dropped the subject but continued to watch as Tony cradled his arm, as if it would snap at any moment. As Tony complained about the suit modifications he had to make, Bucky realized why the guy was holding his arm. Before he could use any of the common sense he was rumored to have, Bucky began sputtering. 

“You-you-you’re holding the arm-because Stevie’s mad at you.” Bucky watched as the genius looked as if he had gotten caught, utterly regretful and a slight tremor took over his body. 

“Don’t tell him.” Tony managed after a stretch of silence. 

“Tony. This isn’t healthy.”

“I know that! None of my life is healthy! Just because I’m ‘dating’ Steve doesn’t mean I’m healthy.”

“Why’d you say you were never first? Why’d you say you’d be second to me?” Bucky blurted, without thinking, as always. His brain seemed to stop when he was around Tony. 

Tony stilled and then gave out a stressed laugh. “You heard that?” Then he all but fell into his chair. 

“At one point, Steve liked me. Before you know, Ultron and those fuck ups. He asked me to go out on a date. So we did. I learned pretty soon that he might have loved me, but you, his dead boyfriend from the forties, was always gonna be first. For once, I wanted to be first.”

Bucky listened carefully and then shook his head. “Steve and I, we’re brothers. Not boyfriends.” 

Tony ignored him “He told me it didn’t matter. That Bucky would want him to move on. I stopped seeing him after that. Didn’t want to be a replacement.” Tony sighed. “Rhodey was there that week, punched Cap in the face. Don’t think Rhodey’s liked him since then.”

That explained a lot. Including why Rhodey was so against the fake relationship, and how Rhodey had asked Bucky to watch over the two of them. 

“At least this time I know Steve doesn’t actually care about me.” Tony muttered, grabbing a drink from his mini fridge. 

Bucky grabbed the drink from Tony’s hand before Tony could even open the bottle. “Not time to drink yourself into a stupor.”

“What else do you suggest? Can’t go upstairs yet.” 

Bucky sat down, close enough to Tony that he could see the smallest bit of insecurity in the eyes of the other man. It was close enough to make Bucky’s body scream with nervous anticipation and general panic. 

“Depends. I’m good at a lotta things.”

He had no idea what the heck he was doing, but before he could slap himself out of his trance, his lips were against Tony’s forehead. 

“Bucky?” Tony asked, his breath hovering over panic, but the man wasn’t pulling away, and instead had leaned into Bucky’s chest, welcoming him. 

“You’ll always be first. I’m good at that.” 

It seemed like Tony was accepting the show of affection, until Bucky had said that. Suddenly, the small man pulled away. 

“No.” Tony had shook his head and took a generous two feet to separate them. “Steve.”

“What about Steve?” Bucky asked, being careful to keep his voice steady. He didn’t want to break right here. He thought what Tony and Steve had was fake. Was Tony still in love with Steve? 

Tony didn’t say what Bucky had expected him to, and couldn’t look at him when he did. “He’s in love with you. Has been since he found a clue that you were still alive. Kinda easy to see. He gave up Captain America for you.” 

Bucky felt like he had been slapped in the face again. He didn’t remember much, but he knew he would remember if he and Steve had been in a relationship. Wouldn’t he? 

He felt hurt. Tony wasn’t right. Steve didn’t give up Captain America for him. Even if the soldier had loved him, he didn’t give up his mantle for Bucky. Instead, he hid in the shadows, and the moment he got a chance to take back his title, he ran and didn’t look back. Bucky hadn’t needed Captain America at that to me, he had needed Steve’s support during his healing process, and Steve kept reassuring him that once things slowed down, he’d make sure to spend extra time with Bucky. 

So far, that hadn’t happened. Steve was caught up in Accords amendments, then moving back to the Compound. And now, he was planning out his fake relationship with Tony Iike it was a battle plan. A chore. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

He could do it better. 

Bucky didn’t know where that thought came from but suddenly he felt the urge to prove it. The soldier in him grabbed the idea with earnestness and made it his mission. And when the soldier had a mission, he always completed it.

—

The change happened instantaneously. Everyone noticed it. Maybe that was what the soldier was going for, Bucky wasn’t quite sure. 

Simply put, Bucky began to spend a considerable amount of time in the lab with Tony. He growled at anyone who complained about the genius, and when the man emerged from his hide away, Bucky was the first to greet him and was not afraid to use a few pet names, which had Steve confused and upset. 

When Rhodey got back, he was absolutely delighted, and was soon cheering Bucky on, having the nerve to yell at Bucky when he didn’t use a pet name in Tony. Rhodey was the only one who seemed content with the changes, everyone else looked like they were constantly on the verge of going insane, and questioned Bucky at every turn. 

“Doll, if I give you this coffee you must eat at least one muffin I made for you.” Bucky bargained with Tony who only focused on the coffee and nodded agreeingly. 

That’s how fight number, something in the fourties started. It wasn’t so much a fight as it was the team questioning how much of Bucky was left in his mind. He simply rolled his eyes. Yes, the soldier was very much a part of him, but he was not doing this against his own will. If only they’d listen once and a while. 

After a week of the consistent care of Tony, Bucky found a note on his mirror. 

_Wanna spar?_

_Steve_

It was five in the morning. Tony wouldn’t be up until eight, and that was at the very least. Bucky jumped at the chance. 

—

Steve was hitting dirty, and Bucky was all too happy when Steve called it quits and went over to his gear. Then, the real reason for Steve inviting him came out.

“What’s up with you and Tony?”

It was open ended, but Bucky didn’t like the defensive stance Steve took when he asked and Bucky was careful with his choice of words. 

“Nothing punk. Just taking care of the little guy. Reminds me of you in the forties. Too reckless to care for himself.”

Steve actually smiled at that, and patted Bucky in the back. “You know you can tell me anything, right. I mean, I’m not sure if you remember, but we kinda used to be best friends.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes and punched Steve playfully. “Yeah punk. You won’t stop reminding me. Besides, you’re pretty unforgettable.”

Steve lit up at that comment, and Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of that. He decided to test the waters, no matter how stupid it would be. He was known to be stupid if he remembered. Something about taking the stupid with him. 

“Were we just friends?” 

The blonde’s body stopped for all of two seconds before he caught himself. “Yeah. At that time. I wanted something more, but you said we were just friends.” 

Bucky didn’t remember that, but Steve wouldn’t lie to him, right? Instead he just barreled through with his plan. “Hey, kinda glad no lie. You woulda gone into the ice thinking I was dead. And it would’ve been quite the shock to find your boyfriend of seventy years is still alive and a weapon of Hydra.”

“I would've waited. I waited seventy years for you Bucky. I’d do it again.” Steve’s voice was serious, too serious for Bucky’s liking.

“I thought you liked Peggy. That girl was spitfire.”

“She was amazing. But she wasn’t you. I’m glad we never worked out actually, would’ve spent the entire relationship comparing her to you. She didn’t deserve that. Daniel’s a good man.”

Bucky hummed. He was about to jump into fire, but he had to say what he was thinking. “You compared Tony to me too?” 

Steve whirled around at that comment, eyes wild. “What? Who told you?”

Bucky stayed calm. A good thing about seventy years of torture was that not a lot of things actually scared Bucky, and certainly not an angry Steve. He had dealt with him in the forties without serum, and he could just as well do it now.

“Tony told me. Actually, I overheard and then asked him about it.” 

“Look,” Steve was calmer now, “Tony and I, we thought we liked each other. I misread signs and asked him on a date. I thought I was doing good until out of the blue, he told me I was still in love with you, and then I got punched in the face by Rhodes and then things fell apart with him after that.” 

“Steve,” Bucky hated what he knew he had to say next. “I never felt that way for you. You’re my best friend. My brother. But I’ve never felt anything romantic between us. I know I’d remember that.” 

“Bucky, I don’t know if you were aware of this, but you were gay in the forties. It’s okay, people accept it nowadays, just look at Tony and I, everyone’s happy about us.” 

“No Stevie. I know I’m gay. It’s just, I got my eyes on someone different.” 

Steve looked like he had been punched in the face. “What?” 

“‘M sorry Stevie. Just don’t feel the same way.”

“Who is it? Who do you like better than me?” Steve looked on the verge of actual tears and Bucky wanted to run away. 

“Tony.”

—

It turned out that the captain didn’t like that answer, and he had all but broken the door frame when he exited the gym. In concern, Rhodey came in, already wearing his workout clothing. 

“What’s that about?”

“I told Steve I liked Tony.”

“And he didn’t like it because he likes you?” Rhodey raised an eyebrow and grabbed a jump rope. 

“I don't feel that way about him.”

Rhodey nodded. ”I kinda figured. So Tony told you about Steve? Because I don’t think Steve mentioned it.”

Rhodey sas leaving the door open for Bucky to say more, but Bucky didn’t know how to respond. 

“Does Tony like me? Or am I like Steve?”

Rhodey snorted. “Ask him yourself. Oh, just a fair warning. Break his heart and I will be worse than Hydra ever was. And I have diplomatic immunity in seven countries.”

Bunch took that as a yes and then ran out the door. He had to see Tony. 

—

He slid into the worship without a plan, and only a rush of adrenaline to justify way he had been running at almost inhuman speeds, even for a super soldier. 

“Something wrong Bucky?” Tony alsed, his eyes wide as Bucky had just almost ripped the door off the hinges in such a rush. Technically, Bucky should be upset with him for not going to bed like he should’ve, but Bucky was all to distracted to care. 

It was now or never. 

“I don’t know how stupid this is gonna sound but I like you, a lot and wanna be your boyfriend. For real. I want to be everything a boyfriend should be and show you what it’s like to be someone’s first, always.”

Tony looked stunned and he was actually speechless. Bucky continued. “I’ve only had a few weeks of really knowing you but you make me safe and happy and I want to make you feel the same. Tony, please answer I feel like my heart is about to burst and I’m on a chopping board and-“

“Yes.” Tony jumped on Bucky, and hugged him with abandon. Bucky rearranged his arms so he could fully hold the genius and nuzzled his face into the man’s neck. It might’ve been rash, it wasn't thought through, but it was _right_. Oh so right. 

“So this is how it’s supposed to be.” Tony whispered into Bucky’s hair. Bucky could only nod and continue to hold Tony in his arms. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Steve’s too cold, detached voice came from the doorway and Tony quickly separated himself from Bucky. The man didn’t know what to say and just looked at Bucky like a scared puppy. So Bucky decided he was going to do the talking. 

“I asked Tony if he would be my boyfriend.” 

It came out much more confident than Bucky was feeling, and he hid his flinch as much as he could when Steve grimaced. Tony couldn’t hide his quite as well and Bucky didn’t fail to notice that. 

“But I’m dating Tony.” Steve's voice was full of possessiveness and Bucky wasn’t sure he didn’t completely hallucinate the talk with Steve just an hour ago. It almost sounded like Steve was actually taking on the role of boyfriend “You didn’t say yes did you Tony?” 

Tony didn’t answer, and that made Steve livid. The man was coming over and Bucky stood in front, to shield Tony. 

“You’re fake dating. It’s not real. It never has been between you two. So why can’t we have something real?”

“Because if I can’t have you then I want Tony!” Steve yelled, and Bucky felt the flinch behind him without even looking back. 

“Tony is not just a replacement when you can’t have me. I don’t know if someone ever told you that but it’s high time they did. Now if you don’t mind, I would like you to leave.”

Steve stood his ground, and Bucky sighed. This was not a good time, and he wasn’t sure if he was a hero for standing up to Steve or an idiot. Either way, what was done was done and he had to take care of it. 

“I’m just gonna, go upstairs.” Tony whispered, and opened a door from the middle of the lab wall Bucky didn’t even know existed. 

—

“Bucky. How could you?” Steve sounded absolutely devastated and Bucky had to physically restrain himself from trying to hug the smile away. Because he knew Steve would take it the wrong way. 

“You wanted me to move on with my life, to break out of my shell. Tony’s been helping me, and I really think I like him. Aren’t you happy for me?”

“I wanted you to move on with me.”

“You’re still my best friend Stevie. But I could never see you as my boyfriend. I’m sorry.”

Steve looked like he was about to punch something but suddenly, light the flick of a switch, his attitude changed completely. 

“I’ll wait Bucky. I’ll wait seventy more years because I told you I would. Just please, don’t rub it in. I’ll go tell the council things have changed.”

Bucky wanted to yell into the void just to get his frustration out. That was not how Steve was supposed to respond. Bucky didn’t want him to wait, Bucky wanted him to move on with his life as well, not wait around for someone who would never be ready to see him in that way. But the man was gone and Bucky couldn’t stop Steve from thinking in that mindset if he put his entire week into it. Stubborn as stubborn came. 

—

“Tony?” Bucky creeped the door open to Tony’s bedroom anddd a scan of the area. Where was he?

“Friday? Where’s the boss?”

“Boss has insisted on not being disturbed right now.” Friday sounded apologetic. “But since he is currently not taking care of himself, and my research shows that you do, I shall let you know. He is in the server room.”

The server room? Bucky darted down the stairs, too impatient to take the elevator even though he knew Friday would speed it up for him. He needed to see Tony, to make sure he was okay. 

Bucky found Tony curled up in a fetal position, his head in his hands but not making a sound. Straining his ears, Bucky barely heard the soft whimpers coming from Tony. 

“Honey. Oh honey. Look at me breathe.” Bucky pulled Tony close, like he was made to. “Breathe with me.” 

Once Tony had calmed down, the man began grabbing at the air wildly. “I-I-can’t breathe.” Tony started to freak out, and Bucky just continued to breathe. Honestly, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but he figured being a steady support was better than freaking out. At least, he wouldn’t freak Tony out more. 

“Hello sir it is currently 62 degrees outside in New York City. All systems are running smoothly and there is a twenty percent chance of rain, with a 30% humidity level.” 

The voice sounded oddly enough like Vision’s and Bucky was confused at how quickly Tony calmed down hearing the soothing British voice. That wasn’t Friday, and Bucky couldn’t hear Vision anywhere. For a robot that could phase through walls, the android was surprisingly loud. He realized that was the voice of the rumored Jarvis, the predecessor of Friday, who probably had known what to do when Tony was like this. 

“Bucky?” Tony said once he had calmed down enough to realize where he was, “why are you here?”

“I said I’d put you first darling. I’m doing what I promised.”

Tony shook his head and scooter away from Bucky. It nearly broke his heart. “No, I cannot let you ruin your life. Steve loves you Bucky. I’m not gonna get in the way of that.”

“I don’t love him like that. I love you.” Bucky sounded like he was pleading, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted Tony to know how important he was to him. 

“No. I know what it feels to love someone like that and not have them feel the same way. I don’t wanna hurt Steve. So there is no me and you.” 

If Bucky’s heart was shattered before, it most certainly had broken into millions of pieces before. He had been so close to Tony, close enough to taste the man. And now, he was losing him before his eyes because of a relationship that didn’t exist. 

“Tony!” Bucky got up to his feet almost in sync with Tony, and all the shorter man did was give a bittersweet smile. 

“I’m sorry Bucky. Maybe if the stars aligned a little bit better. But I still consider you one of my best friends.”

With that, Tony pulled glasses out of nowhere-his emotional mask, and slid them on easily, his face morphing into a wide, overly fake grin, “Besides, the media is going to love the romance of two super soldiers who pushed through time and space to get to each other again. They’ll consume that like candy.”

Thud. Tony left not understanding that Bucky was telling the truth. There was no Bucky and Steve romance. There never would be one as far as Bucky was concerned. Bucky meant it when he said he would put Tony first, it was his mission, and it was one he could finally say made him one hundred percent completely happy. But now, he was unsure of how to get there. 

—

“You two need to talk.” Bucky heard Natasha’s voice drift from the couch, and he paused in his steps. Natasha must’ve been talking to Steve. Bucky hadn’t spoken to him in a week, still fuming over the fact that Steve had made Tony think that Bucky was interested in a relationship with Steve rather than interested in him. 

“I’ve tried Nat. So many times.”

“Have you tried apologizing?” 

Silence. That’s what Bucky had expected. Did Steve seriously not see what he had done wrong? 

“Sesing him like this, I don’t know. I want him to be happy, so much.” Steve paused, “but I’m jealous. I want that domestic happiness. I want someone to love.”

“And because you’ve always loved Bucky, you thought he was the only possible way to get that.” Sam’s voice rang out, clear and true. Steve made a small squeak directly from his throat. That meant Sam was right on the mark. 

“Okay, now that you have that figured out, I think I have a call into SHIELD.” Natasha stood up and smiled as she walked off. The moment she was out of sight, she came up to Bucky. 

“So Steve and Sam? Huh, never saw that coming.”

“I did.” Natasha smiled. “But I didn’t peg you and Tony, which I admit, was a little off the mark for me.”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair nervously. “Don’t start your planning yet Romanoff. He hasn’t talked to me since last week when I got the arm plates stuck.”

“I’m sure you’ll find your way back to each other.”

“That’s not cryptic at all!” Bucky yelled at her retreating figure, and in response, she flipped him off.

—

A loud knock startled Bucky from his thoughts. With resignation, Bucky got up off his bed, paused his moping, and opened the door. Nobody ever came to his room. And it was one in the morning. What idiot was it this time? He would deck them. In the face. 

Unless it was a Tony idiot, then he would hug him and treasure him. But any other idiot. 

And there was not one, but _two_ idiots. Steve and Sam to be exactly. Looking at each other like they were fools in love.

“Can we come in?”

“Make yourself at home.” Bucky grunted, closing the door behind them. Steve took his advice, and sprawled all over his bed. Sam sat on the chair across the wall. “Is there a reason you’re here? At one in the morning?”

“I should ask you why you’re still up at one in the morning.” Steve countered. Sam gave Steve a warning eyebrow. 

“I could ask the same of you but punk, but if you’re here to counter all my questions, I’ll just go sleep in Nat’s room. And you know how she feels about people waking her up.”

Steve grimaced and then sat up. “I want to talk to you. Well, talk as in apologize. I messed up. I’m really sorry.”

“That all you got?” 

“My jealousy got the better of me and in truth, I was vindictive and happy when I messed up what you and Tony had. I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m beginning to realize that you are my best friend, but not my only source of happiness.”

Bucky was relieved. This was the Stevie he knew. Oblivious to a fault, but he cared. He just was really bad at showing it a lot of times. If he was being honest, most of the time Steve just ran into things so fast, seeing things so black and white he didn’t even think it through. 

“That’s great Steve, thank you. I accept your apology. But I think you owe one to Tony as well.”

“I do. Bucky?” Steve’s voice dropped. “Are we okay now?”

“Til the end of the line Stevie.” Bucky gave one of his famous grins, and embraced Steve. 

—

Bucky was too wound up to go to sleep, so he spent his time cleaning guns while anticipating how Tony would take the information. 

The thing was, Bucky wouldn’t hate Tony no matter what. Even if the man never wanted to speak to him again. Bucky couldn’t hate Tony because Bucky had seen the Tony that most people-even Steve, hadn’t seen. And that Tony infatuated him, and drew him closer like a bug to the flame. And Bucky was willing to get burnt. Because he knew Tony’s heart. It wasn’t like him to torture a man like that. Not when he himself had been tortured. 

During the radio silence between Tony and him, Bucky had taken the time to dig deep into the study of Tony Stark. 

And when Bucky had found the SHIELD file on Tony, he had been livid. Livid that Nick let him think he was dying. Livid with Natasha for pretending to be someone she wasn’t. As he read on, he was livid with everyone, including himself. The team, Iron Legion, Ultron. They were all created with the sole purpose to unite, protect, and avenge the Earth. But in the end, they fell into pieces, and from what Bucky could gather, Tony’s heart fell into pieces along with those broken parts. 

Because he was so caught up in his own thoughts, he barely registered the fact that he was angrily handling his guns, in an unsafe, angry fashion. Too much like the programming. He was much less aware of the fact that someone had joined him. A touch to the flesh arm jerked him back into reality. 

“Bucky. You okay?” Tony’s soothing voice drew him back and Bucky was ready to sob. He was not okay, he didn’t deserve this gentleness. But he only weakly nodded. 

“Whatcha doing here?” He managed after a beat of silence.

Tony scratches his head nervously. “I got a visit from the two lovebirds about ten minutes ago. Steve explained some stuff to me, and then picked me up and carried me up here. To talk to you.”

“Oh yeah.” Bucky was trying to sound sauce about the whole thing but he was pretty sure he was about to burst. “Was it me you said you loved? You compared yourself to Stevie. Was it because of me?”

Tony didn’t look Bucky in the eye. “What can I say? You turn a lotta heads.”

With a burst of happiness Bucky pulled the man closer to him and laid a passionate yet gentle kiss on his lips. 

“Only want to turn yours.” He said once they parted. “Tony Stark, will you go out on a date with me?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Tony breathed, and then went on his tippy toes to kiss Bucky again. 

The kiss was longer this time, with both of them trying to explore the parts they hadn’t allowed themselves to reach. When they finally separated, Tony smiled, a real, genuine smile that lit up his entire face. “I could do this all night.” He whispered into Bucky’s neck. 

“I could too doll,” Bucky easily picked Tony up, and then surprised the man by plopping him onto the bed. “But we need sleep. Scooch over,” Bucky wiggled his way into the bed, thankful that he hadn’t changed out of his pjs.

“I’m a blanket hog according to Rhodey. Fair warning.” Tony laughed as he tugged all the blankets around him like a burrito. Bucky just laughed. 

“Well I’m a human oven, so that’s okay.”

Tony smiled and passed some of the blanket back to Bucky. Then he wiggled closer so Bucky was spooning him. “Less talking, more snuggles.”

In a matter of minutes Tony was fast asleep, and Bucky couldn’t help but savor the feel of Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, Ironman, was his boyfriend, in his arms. It was the best feeling Bucky had ever felt in his life, because for the first time in his life, he was content. Not needing to be anywhere else, here he was safe, and loved. So so loved. And he would make Tony feel the same. 

“I love you. You’ll always be first.” Bucky whispered in Tony’s ear, before he laid his head back and closed his eyes, drifting to sleep with dreams of domesticity in the forefront of his mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I wrote this in the span of 3 days and on my phone, so forgive any typos, because I'm a terrible editor :) Honestly I was salty about CA:CW, and was like, well what if they were forced into a relationship and Bucky noted the red flags? And then it led to this monster. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are love!


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